Life in America

Today marks the sixth month of my being a Mrs. !  And it’s been almost seven months since I arrived here in the US.

First off, I just want to say,  “Happy 6th month anniversary, Babe! I still love you!”  lol 😀

Yes, time flies so fast indeed!  In that short span of time a lot have happened which I am honestly thankful for.  Because whether good or bad they contributed to making me the kind of woman and wife I ought to be in the eyes of my Abba.   Still a work-in-progress but I’m really so glad that He’s always with me every step of the way!  I can’t imagine life without my Creator, Saviour & Lord!

I was privileged enough to visit a number of destinations here in the US like Florida, Philadelphia, Connecticut, New Jersey, New York and some cities around Pennsylvania.  I experienced my first Fall, first Thanksgiving Day, first Winter and first snow, first Christmas, first New year, first Valentine’s Day, and first St. Patrick’s Day and Lent soon! And I’m looking forward to more “first’s” in the future! lol

   

at Boyce Park

inside the inclined plane in downtown pitt

            

downtown Pitt

 

me raking leaves and Jasmo playing on the pile! lol

   

Fall season...

In addition to these, there were things that I needed to do in order to establish my “identity” here in the US like doing the paperwork for my AOS (Adjustment of Status) and EAD (Employment Authorization Document) after I got married, getting my SSN, and State I.D., applying for a driver’s permit so I can start learning how to drive and then get my driver’s license eventually, applying for a job and building my credit score by opening a bank account and a credit card.  Yes, all these I have to go through as an “alien” in order to legally build a “life” here in the US of A.  To date, I already have my EAD card and driver’s permit.  And I am just waiting for my green card. 🙂  When I get it I’ll be USCIS-free for at least two years! Yahoo!!!  It’s not a joke working on your AOS and all the other things that come with it.  It entails a lot of patience, determination and of course money!  Just filing for an AOS costs you $1,070! And what about the other requirements that you need to do even before you file your adjustment like going to a civil surgeon, vaccine shots, etc. etc.  There’s nothing free in America!  Every move you make, you need to shell out some moolah!  That’s how it is!  Oh well.

As I’ve been mentioning constantly in my blogs, life here in America is one whole new world for me and a bit of a culture shock too! lol.  It’s somewhat a drastic change!  Although I have been here a couple of times for work and vacation,  it’s a totally different ball game when you are actually living here.  The word ADJUSTMENT needs to take place whether I like it or not.   There are many major “changes” that I needed to adjust to but I will only focus on three of  them which are the language, food and weather.  Everyday since I came here I need to speak in English.  I could only speak in my native language (Tagalog) when I call my Filipino friends and cousins residing here in the US as well but this doesn’t happen regularly because they are also busy with work and their own families.  Over the past few months I’ve met other Filipinas and have stayed in contact with them.  Some of them are actually helping me to get a job which is really nice of them!  Rice has always been one of my favorite asian food.  I used to say and joke that I couldn’t eat a meal without rice or else I’ll die!  But when I got here in America, even that changed! lol.  I learned not to have rice everyday.  At first, it was hard but later on I got used to it.  Well, I didn’t die so I guess it’s okay to eat rice once in a while! lol.  My husband, being sweet and thoughtful, let me have my share of rice at least three times a week when we eat at a Chinese or Japanese restaurant. lol.  Between warm and cold weather, I prefer cold.  But not this cold! lol.  Weather here in Pittsburgh, PA is undeniably one of the coldest in the country.  Winter here could go crazy!  My husband said I’m very fortunate to experience this kind of weather we have now because two years ago they needed to shovel 8-10 ft. high piles of snow on their front and back yards!  They were stuck in the house for days!   Winter season is almost over here now, thank God!  I’m looking forward to my first Spring!  Gotta get those flip flops walkin’  soon!  lol.

my first snow experience at Mt. Cobb, PA

touching snow for the first time

One of the things I needed to fight while waiting for my AOS and EAD is boredom.  As an “alien,” for many months you will be stuck in the house most of the time because you can’t drive yet, you can’t work yet and you can’t travel outside of the country yet.  You are actually a “prisoner.”  So during this season of “idleness” you need to decide not to be “idle.”  You can be productive while you’re waiting.  As for me, this is the time that I learned to cook.  Once in a while, I would cook filipino food for the family.  I also learned to crochet.  It’s quite addicting!  I read books.  Surf the net.  And of course, I blog.  It’s also at this time that I learned to do house chores the American way! 🙂 What are your interests?  Do you have any activity that you would like to engage in?  Maybe now is the perfect time for you to do it!

my first crochet project

simple scarf

head band

As a new but not-so-young bride (I married at 35 on 9-10-11), I knew that I needed to learn and re-learn a lot of things especially I was used to living “independently” for the most part of my adult life.  It was tough sure, but I believe I was prepared to do it and to walk through it.  I needed to give up some things too in the name of love! lol.  One of which, and I must say the hardest of all, was leaving my family & friends and the land that I have known to be my “home” for more than 30 years.

They say that married life is a big adjustment.  I totally agree and more! lol.  I didn’t just have to adjust to married life but as well as, simultaneously, I need to adjust to a new culture, people, language, food, weather and environment that’s different from the “home” that I’ve always known almost my entire life.  I know my case is not an isolated one.  There are a lot of Filipino women who have done the same thing and have given up a lot in the name of love!  lol.  It comforts me to know that I am not alone in this “challenge” because there are many who are in the same boat as I am! 🙂   This inspired me to continuously write about my own’ journey’  hoping to help, inspire and encourage others along the way.   Hopefully even just a little bit, through my blogs they will find comfort as they go through  their own everyday “struggles” to “fit in” in a foreign land.

Also, for this reason that I am starting this particular blog which will be about the things I discovered and is discovering, lessons I learned and is learning, challenges and struggles I go through  and things I’m grateful for while going through this “new” life I entered in as a new wife in a new land.   This blog will be a continuous one.  I will keep on adding  to it.  Hopefully you can also share some insights too so we can learn from each other. 🙂  Thank you for reading and I hope you will continue to read on!

1. As husband and wife,  you need to accept one another wholly with all your quirks and faults.  They say that once married couples start living under one roof they discover more things about each other, both pretty and ugly!  That is so true with me.  I have discovered more great things about my husband but there are also some not-so-pretty ones as well. lol.  Please don’t get me wrong, I am not trying  to put him down nor am I trying to elevate myself, no way!  I’m just saying that the person I married is human and is therefore, imperfect.  And so am I!   Having this in mind helped me to accept my partner in all totality because I know he did and is doing the same.  And if I may add, if you think that you can change a person when you marry him or her, you are totally wrong!  Later on you’ll just be miserable because you’ll find yourself disappointed over and over again.  I often hear this, that our spouse is not a science project that we can work on.  It is so true.  I constantly remind myself of this because I know my efforts will just be futile.  I learned that the most effective way to handle it is to actually NOT handle it at all but rather let God handle it!  I tell God about it and I let Him handle it because changing someone’s heart is too big of a project for me.

2. Making each other a priority but only secondary to God.  If you ask my husband, he would honestly tell you that I only come second because his first is God.  For some reason, I find comfort in that.  I wouldn’t dare take first place in his heart because I know if I do so, our marriage will crumble.

3.  Acknowledging my husband’s leadership.  In our “budding” little family, my husband is the head and I the helper and it’s not the other way around.   I have to continuously “train” myself to submit as it doesn’t come to me naturally. lol.  Especially when I know I am right.  But I realize that my husband is far more important than my ego.  God designed him exactly the way he is so I dare not change His original design.

==================================================================================

Some of our travel photos:

at the NY Time Square

chillin' at Times Square, NY

with UN Sec Gen Ban Ki-moon

Lion County Safari at West Palm Beach

     

at West Palm Beach, FL

at Disney World, FL

Epcot, Disney World, FL

Pompano Beach, FL

Ft. Lauderdale Beach

Boynton Beach, FL

Westin Hotel at Ft. Lauderdale

with my bosses, Gary & Angeli Valenciano in Philadelphia

Eating Pat's King of Steaks' Philly Cheesesteak ! Super yum!

nice boutique 🙂

behind us is the Historical Liberty Bell

   

Art Museum, Philadelphia